Posted tagged ‘racism’

Dear Caucasoids: Please Stop Using the N-Word, Especially When Ironically Covering Rap Songs.

June 11, 2010

See: above.

Welcome to a brand new segment here at Popular Opinions called Dear Caucasoids where I write an open-and-shut letter to white people as a whole. This should be fun.

Dear Caucasoids,

If there’s one thing I have never done in my rap career, it’s say the N-word. In fact, long before I was rapping, I knew this was one thing never to do. As a caucasoid (white person / milkhead) myself, I’m all too familiar with the very few words I’m not allowed to ever say ever for any reason. Being someone who has always considered racism alongside Farmville and Mafia Wars as social networking hobbies that don’t interest me in the least, I’ve never really minded that these very few words were off limits. No matter how cool it was to hear them on record, I understood a thing or two about American history and was big enough on social graces to never slip on down to the o-asis and use it under any circumstances.

So imagine my surprise when fellow Caucasoid Nina Gordon (of Veruca Salt) released her cover of N.W.A.’s “Straight Outta Compton” this week and, well, make it to the 11 second mark.

Yes, white people ironically covering rap music in another genre is nothing new. In the Mid-90s, both nu-metal pioneers KoRN and New York punk band H20 had minor hits with covering Ice Cube’s “Wicked” and “It Was a Good Day”. At the turn of the century, punk act Dynamite Hack scored a record deal with website-turned-television-show-turned-record-label farmclub.com with their cover of Eazy E’s “Boyz in the Hood” and failed mathematician Ben Folds had viral success with Dr. Dre’s “B****** Ain’t S***.” Then there’s The Gourds’ not-Phish cover of Snoop’s “Gin and Juice” and Tori Amos’ not-not-pretentious reinterpretation of Eminem’s “97 Bonnie and Clyde.” For whatever reason, possibly because they’re iconic or just really good, it’s only Cube and Dre affiliated works that get the “oh man, how about this?” treatment. The actual (re: not cute) irony here is that these are two artists whose most famous works often reflected the struggle of being a minority and yet the popularity of these covers are perpetuating a subtle institutionalized racism through familiarizing a far-too-impressionable white audience with casually dropping N-bombs.

Of course, the most popular defense of Gordon’s cover is that people are being too sensitive over what are “just lyrics” and that Gordon herself should get a pass because she isn’t being “hateful.” Thing is, it’s not “just lyrics.” Take the N-word out and it’s just a lame cover. With the N-Word present (we would have known what song it was without it, there is a clean version she could have opted for. At least say “brother”) it becomes a moment of racism. There’s no doubt in my mind she wasn’t calling anyone “n*gger,” but with the n-word’s history, particularly with how it is used in that song, it’s incredibly socially irresponsible to do it, especially for an audience that isn’t a “hip hop” audience who now might think it’s ok to say it. It isn’t. Look no further than the countless “Boyz N the Hood” YouTube covers to see oblivious mimics by the dead-eyed dozens.

Let’s compare this to the Will Ferrell SNL sketch where he’s Robert Goulet selling his rap album. The difference between that and these jokey covers is that, while Ferrell is in character dropping N-bombs left and right THE JOKE IS that Robert Goulet is deluded and out-of-touch enough to think such a casual use by him (a caucasoid) is OK. That’s what makes it funny. The Nina Gordon/Ben Folds covers, however, aren’t as a character. They’re being themselves and giving the covers no other context than “I’m a white person saying the N-Word over soft music, isn’t that hilarious?”

Sure, I’d be as thrilled to say the ONE word I’m not allowed to say as much as the rest of you, but it’s not my/our place to determine what that word means. It’s never been hurtful to us. It’s not up to us to say when it’s OK. We can’t make that call, particularly when re-appropriating something like “Straight Outta Compton” for a gag that winds up (even unintentionally) being an arrogant act of white privilege. Also, it’s a joke that has been done and is no longer funny so please stop. K, thx.

xoxo,
chaz

We give Lame Youtube Covers a One Out of Five.

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

Chaz’s Best of Rap-A-Lot Compilation – FREE DOWNLOAD & HISTORY LESSON!

June 7, 2010

A Symbol of Quality

As I’ve stated many times on this site, rap music is awesome. It’s a subject I’m passionate about and will gladly discuss for hours on end. Among my favorite topics of that of Houston’s Rap-A-Lot Records. Formed in 1986 by then-car dealer James “J Prince” Smith, it has honed Hip-Hop to some of its highest heights. Along with breaking the regional glass-ceiling that plagued southern rappers throughout the 80s, the label’s been home to some of the genre’s most respected and beloved artists such as Scarface, Devin the Dude and UGK’s Bun-B. It’s a label whose catalog is deep with a roster full of artists that each bear a distinct sound while maintaining the label’s standard of quality output.

In recognition of VH1’s Hip-Hop Honors acknowledging the label tonight, I’ve decided to share my Best of Rap-A-Lot Compilation I made back in 2007 at the height of my Rap-A-Lot fandom. I’ve always felt the Houston sound is perfect for this time of year, with the entire country being baked by a brutal sun the label provides the perfect soundtrack for anything from backyard barbecues to after-hours antics. I tried to not include more than one song from each album and I know there are some glaring omissions whose albums I didn’t have at the time as many of the label’s releases are either out-of-print or inaccessible depending on where you are, so I’ve decided to add the five most regrettable cuts at the end.

His awesomeness, J. Prince

I know there’s also some of you who never have/wanted to give any rap music south of the Mojo Nixon line a chance. This mix and entry is also for you to hopefully provide some context and level with you as to why these artists are praised and why their music is dope. Enlighten yourself, fool.

DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE MIX HERE: http://www.4shared.com/file/USpWvM1G/Best_of_Rap-A-Lot.html

Tracklisting:

1) Seagram “2 For 1”
– Starting things off we have the late Seagram. A Bay Area favorite, Seagram is most known for being the first in rap to use the “Double Dutch Bus” ‘izzle’-speak, predating E-40/Snoop Dogg/Missy/Fran Drescher with 1992’s “Straight Mobbin.” I opted instead to open this collection with “2 For 1,” to help ease in those of you not familiar with country rap tunes by having Seagram utterly destroy a medley of classic breaks (re: samples) for five minutes. Welcome to Rap-A-Lot

2) Convicts “Peter Man”
– One of the most sought after records in the RAL catalog is the debut of (future-Geto Boy) Big Mike and (future-Blac Monk) 3-2 as The Convicts. Their self-titled release is a concept album from two, you guessed it, Convicts behind bars. An industry favorite, it’s constantly eluded to on several certified rap classics. One listen to “Peter Man,” and many moments of Dr. Dre’s The Chronic are going make a lot more sense.

3) Geto Boys “Mind Playing Tricks on Me”
– The label’s biggest hit and an canonical rap song, “Mind Playing Tricks on Me” is truly one of the genre’s biggest triumphs. It also lead to a popular viral Star Wars video and one of the best St. Ides ads of all time.

4) Poppa LQ “South Central Soldier”
– In the early 90s, the label expanded with Rap-A-Lot West and one of the best releases from the imprint was Your Entertainment, My Reality by Poppa LQ. Under-appreciated even in Rap-A-Lot circles, this reinvention of the one-time “Native Son” Laquan was one of rap’s most dramatic metamorphosis resulting in the perfect implication of the Rap-A-Lot aesthetic in the West Coast soundscape.

5) Geto Boys “Crooked Officer”
– When Willie D left the Geto Boys, he was replaced by aforementioned Convicts member Big Mike. The result was the trio’s darkest album Til Death Do Us Part. A midst a much more brooding production, one of the album’s highlights was the scathing “Crooked Officer,” one of the best corruption songs ever recorded.

They know how to play 'em.

6) OG Style “Catch ‘Em Slippin”
– Dearly departed duo OG Style consisted of ‘Original E’ Eric Woods and producer DJ Woods (UGK’s “One Day”). The first single off I Know How to Play ‘Em,, it features my favorite usage of that Meters sample ever. Love this song.

7) Geto Boys “Gangsta of Love”
– The ORIGINAL version that appeared on their 1989 Grip It on that Other Level album is among the most savagely “ig’nant” sex songs ever recorded. Steve Miller caught feelings and had the sample replaced (with “Sweet Home Alabama”) when it reappeared a year later on their 1990 Rick Rubin produced self-titled American debut.

8 ) DMG “Psycho”
– The FIRST Minnesotan rapper to break national*, St. Paul’s DMG put the Twin Cities on the map with 1992’s Rigormortiz. Short-but-sweet, “Psycho” at first listen sounds like the best Scarface song that Face didn’t make. Midwest represent.

9) Geto Boys “Do It Like a G.O.”
– Label president J.Prince does the intro on this jump off that expresses the frustration of being a Southern voice that gets largely ignored by the media at large. This features the infamous DJ Ready Red “at’cha/statue” line Mr. Lif referenced in the Revenge of the Robots documentary, as well as arguably the absolute angriest Willie D ever sounded.

Bushwick Bill AKA Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir

10) Menace Clan “Kill Whitey”
– Perhaps the most famous obscure rap group, made highly Googled by unintentionally hilarious white-supreamicist websites for their leading examples that rap music as a whole is racist, Menace Clan’s 1992 album Da Hood features some of the glossiest production in the label’s catalog. Yes, it’s possibly the most explicitly racist rap song you’ll ever hear, but if you can listen to Wagner, you should be able to divorce the message from the music and appreciate Menace Clan too.

11) Odd Squad “I Can’t See It”
– Off Fadanuf Fa Ery’body, the album Scarface considers the label’s best, comes Devin the Dude’s first group the Odd Squad. Tied for my favorite rap album all time, it features “I Can’t See It,” the solo-cut from member Blind Rob Quest that remains rap’s best anthem for the vision impaired.

12) Scarface “I Like P***y”
– If “Gangsta of Love” was notable for its brash explicitness, “I Like P***y” off Face’s solo debut stands out for its Epictetus-level stoicism. Off a haunting bassline, Face flexes his storytelling ability to almost-realtime describe an average sexual encounter.

13) Big Mike “Havin Thangs”
– Produced by UGK’s Pimp C, Big Mike’s debut solo single is one of the most revered cuts in the RAL catalog. The sleeper hit off the Dangerous Minds soundtrack, it’s also the song a girl I dated in college believed should be McDonaldland character Grimace’s theme music when the fast food chain decides to finally toughen up their image.

14) The Terrorists “F**k the Media”
– One of the earliest recorded responses to how rap is viewed in the media, this song off the duo’s impossibly titled Terror Strikez: Always Bizness, Never Personal makes the argument that rap shouldn’t be subjected to such particular scrutiny and that the music should stand for itself, best articulated with the line “Ask why I rap about violence and not peace, ho get out my face before I burn you with some hot grease.”

"Come and take a ride with the Bradster."

15) Scarface f/ Ice Cube & Devin the Dude “Hand of the Dead Body”
– Off my other favorite rap album of all time The Diary, Scarface’s “Hand of the Dead Body” sees him joined by Ice Cube to offer the best response from an artist perspective to the critiques of rap’s violent nature. What makes “Hand of the Dead Body” special is that it’s a reactionary record that by-passes the media itself to speak directly to the listeners as to why these allegations are frivolous. It dissects the arguments from both sides and stands the centerpiece of one of the most honest albums ever released.

16) Devin the Dude “Do What You Wanna Do”
– Alleviating the pressure is Devin the Dude’s “Do What You Wanna Do,” a relaxing smooth cut that oozes cool. It’s as uplifting as laid back gets.

17) Geto Boys “Damn, It Feels Good to be a Gangsta”
– Yes, the song from Office Space, implemented into cinematic immortality by fellow Texan Mike Judge. Enough’s been written about this song, so instead I’d like to use this time to stress how awesome Face was in Judge’s follow-up Idiocracy, stealing the show in the greatest post-credits scene in movie history.

18) Devin the Dude f/ Snoop Dogg & Andre 3000 “What a Job”
– Closing things out is the recent cut from the Dude that celebrates the realities of the rap life instead of bemoaning it. The passion on display here really captures what later-RAL releases have been about – a love for the craft doing whatever possible to offer something fresh and unique to the Hip-Hop nation. At a time when it’s been easier than ever for music to become homogenized in oversaturation and a career in the field seems as unstable as ever, “What a Job” is a testament to the label’s passion and quarter-century of quality.

We give Rap-A-Lot Records a Five Out of Five

Oh, and here’s another live five –

(also noteworthy – Do or Die, Ganksta Nip and UTP)

For further reading check out Andrew Noz’s Top 25 Rap-a-Lot songs and his 2004 Rap-A-Lot Week coverage.

So until next time…Let’s Agree to Agree!

*MC Skat Kat DOESN’T COUNT!

MY FAVORITE NUTZOIDS: Kenneth Eng!

April 14, 2010

Here we go again!

This is the second entry in a new series here at Popular Opinions called My Favorite Nutzoids where I will be covering the goofballs, wackos and weirdies that make the internet such a wonderful place. If you missed the first one on famed psychic gas bag Sylvia Browne, you can find it HERE.

Kenneth Eng - NUTZOID!

The party continues with a doozy of a lug-nut in Kenneth Eng. A fellow former NYUnicorn, Eng left the school a few years ago citing ‘racism’ which is odd as he, by all accounts, isn’t a slam poet. Eng then rose to national attention in 2007 when, in a local newspaper out in San Francisco (roughly translated: Saint Frank) he published an article called “Why I Hate Blacks.” Along with being an awful writer, Kenneth revealed himself to be a racist. With Popular Opinions taking a very bold anti-racism stance*, I’m happy to report that there’s plenty more to ostracize this bungler about that makes his being a huge bigot seem almost charming.

Here’s a clip of him being outclassed by well hung Fox News eye-candy John “Big Meat” Gibson:

I love how at 1:40 when Eng states cyborg dragons logically follow evolution which allows them to wield metal, Gibson says “Right” as if to say “of course, we agree on this much.”

This incident is where most profiles of the man begin and end. People get an email, do a youtube search, laugh, and then return to their everyday lives. Luckily, the goober captured my heart to the point where I couldn’t just let him go. Thus, I give you the definitive rundown on this bonehead.

Clearly this is the work of a perfectly sane, well-adjusted individual.

Most recent goings on with the man can be found at the internet’s most valuable reliable resource Encyclopedia Dramatica. There you will find convincing proof that he is not only a racist and an awful writer, but a furry and a no-good-nick with some temper-centric anger-related issues.

BUT HERE IS THE POPULAR OPINIONS EXCLUSIVE!

Since Eng was once a part of the NYUterus, I have tremendous access to firsthand accounts of his zany hijinks. In an anonymous letter sent to my Facebook account, here is the REAL reason Eng had to leave NYU. This isn’t me being ‘silly Chaz,’ I have every reason to believe that this story is real:

“By the time Ken was a Junior, he seemed clearly disturbed. Any criticism coming from teachers would immediately be refuted, since Kenneth preached that his only teacher came from within his soul. [his teacher] made a little note about his 300 page script on dragon riders/warriors, and Ken flipped out on him in front of the class.

It was either Junior or Senior year that Kenneth got waitlisted for a class he was really excited about. As a result, Kenneth called Film & TV dean [Mr. Dean], at 4 in the morning, and told him he would rape and kill his daughter. He continued to call through the night and day, until cops traced the line back to Ken. In an act of diplomacy, Kenneth chose to resign (or quit school) before he got kicked out. No charges were pressed (other than a restraining order from [Mr. Dean]’s whole family). Then he started working for that Asian American newspaper on the westcoast and the rest, i guess, is history.

His name arose in class after Cho seung Hui’s rampage after [his teacher] was struck by the similarities.”

So there you have it! Kenneth Eng is a Nutzoid!

Until next time… Let’s Agree to Agree!

*Always hated it, I can recall moments from my youth when the older cool kids would roll up on their big wheels and say ‘Hey Chaz, want to come be racist?’ to which I responded ‘No man, racism is wack and you gotta attack the wack. Ya dig?’

Hey Guys, Great News! ‘Avatar’ isn’t racist! (or Anti-American!)

January 16, 2010

A Meowcat from 'Avatar.'

Hey, you seen ‘Avatar’ yet? It’s been a month. No? How come? Well yeah, the holidays are busy, but it’s been a month. Surely you know one of the advantages to being a member of the human race is to experience firsthand a historical cultural phenomenon, right? I know, ‘cat people’ aren’t your thing, they aren’t mine either. But c’mon, you must have read he almost unanimous four-star reviews from our nation’s top critics, or at least seen that every screening of the film is selling out four days in advance, right? What’s that? Someone on the internet told you it was RACIST? Oh man, there’s NOTHING worse than racism. It’s ANTI-AMERICAN too?! You’ve heard the SECOND HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE OF ALL TIME IS A BI-PARTISON HATE MACHINE?

Don’t worry, I checked and it’s not.

From "The People Blog." Possibly fake.

James Cameron (Titanic, Piranha 2) spent the last nine years perfecting his vision for a film that redefines the cinematic experience. The 3D effects are nothing short of breathtaking causing the biggest widespread theatrical migration since the dawn of file sharing. People seem to really care about the reverence and magic of the movies again, but this captivating PG film capturing the 2010 world’s attention for an entire month is the cause for some unrest among both ends of the cultural sensitivity spectrum. I like to call these ‘Avatarguments.’

The far left has blasted the film, about a paraplegic soldier who infiltrates the society of an invaded planet and becomes the center of their conflict with Earth, as a bloated white-guilt fantasy. The far right labeled it more Hollywood anti-military socialist Liberal propaganda. Both perspectives have entered my favorite echochamber known as “the internet” and have done their part to convince fringe audiences struggling for identity to give themselves something to make their Facebook statuses different. Polarizing personal politics point towards personality, right? This is why we can’t have nice things. Well, we can have them, but not without olympic level pissing and moaning.

Scene from 'Avatar' (2009)

Avatar Isn’t Racist.

The words “white guilt” get thrown around a lot these days, primarily as a super-secret codeword for “check out how smart I am.” With the release of Avatar, the race card has been shuffled back into the deck and used in a game of 52 pickup that some would have you believe undoes the good achieved with the 2008 election*. Their primary argument is that protagonist Jake Sully (Sam Worthington, Macbeth) is a white man who infiltrates an African-esqe exotic civilization, masters their customs, becomes their focal point and ultimately their savior. They see it as not only fetishizing the “other**” but a congratulatory redemption for the white man’s centuries of oppression. In their eyes, Jake Sully gets to pass in both worlds, both experiencing white privilege and acceptance in a foreign culture with none of either’s drawbacks and a free opportunity to pass between the two.

I can understand where such a reading is coming from. In a post-Dances with Wolves world, middle America loves a person they can relate to showing that they can “overcome the odds,” regardless how trivial and masturbatory those achievements are. But this “white privilege” reading doesn’t apply to our protagonist because he is a cripple. And we’re not talking a cool “I’m in dire need of a dual hip replacement but I get around with a pimp cane made entirely out of diamonds because my name is Prince and I am funky” type of cripple. He’s got two shriveled legs and in a hand-propelled wheelchair. It’s the future and he doesn’t even have a Professor X hover-z-boy. This inhibits him from taking advantage of any societal “white privilege” because he isn’t seen as just ‘another white male.’ I counted and, for the first half-hour of the film, EVERY SINGLE TIME HE IS ADDRESSED BY A NON-SCIENTIST IT IS IN DIRECT REFERENCE TO HIS HANDICAP. From “hot rod” to “meals on wheels,” his condition is at the top of every sentence. Further, his time inhabiting the Avatar form sees him endeared to those around him because he is “pure of heart.” They don’t judge him based on his handicap because it is an unknown non-factor to them. As for Sully himself, his primary concern in his new body isn’t “I get a fresh start in a new culture,” but rather excitement for his newfound mobility. His happiness with his new bipedal form results in a crashing depression as, every time he returns to his society, the first shot we see is his disappointed maneuvering back into his wheelchair. He has no “perfect white society” to return to***. As for becoming the focal point of the Na’vi people, he’s merely a major player in this ONE conflict, as his love interest Neytiri (Zoe Saldana, Center Stage) eludes in the film to her Grandfather, who had gathered all the tribes on Pandora to band together in a “time of great sorrow” for an epic conflict with outsiders, and that he was the fifth one to do so. This makes Sully the sixth. The SIXTH. He’s not the “great savior,” he’s merely another name.

I’d also like to ask the film’s accusers, if Jake Sully were black, would the film still be racist? He’s still a human in an alien society. I find most discussions of Jake Sully’s white privilege, or lack there of, devolving into a “who’s more persecuted” pissing contest. Is a white man in a wheelchair more entitled than a fully functioning black man when it comes to a society of blue kitty-people? I’m all for critical thinking at the cineplex and think, in this day-and-age, more attention should be paid to what flies in family-oriented affairs, but sometimes “deconstructing the othering” gets the better of people and does nothing except stop a misguided few from missing a truly great cinematic experience.

DID YOU KNOW - 'Avatar' cost over a million dollars to make?

Avatar is NOT Anti-American

I’m really not a fan of labeling a film as “patriotic” or “Anti-American.” With the possible exception of terrorist recruiting children’s programming like “Tomorrow’s Pioneers,” I don’t think much hits my screen that screams “I hate America and willingly embrace an opposing alternative!” That being said, I think when conservative critics refer to a film as “Anti-American,” what they mean to say is the film doesn’t fall directly inline with their particular political beliefs. We all remember the uproar that singing penguin film Happy Feet caused within the Fox News crowd, as it was “liberal propaganda,” clearly signified by the acknowledging that A) ice melts and B) birds hate garbage.

James Cameron has made no secret of his own personal politics. He thinks the War in Iraq was a mistake, thinks nature should be preserved and told “60 Minutes” that “tails are cool.” However, when you read the film through the eyes of what the Republican Party has historically stood for, it’s possible to interpret Avatar as a very conservative film. Not unlike Star Wars and Ghostbusters before it, it’s a special effects laden celebration of the potential and triumph of the individual.

Director James Cameron on the set of 'Avatar'

Jake Sully, a marine so dedicated to his country that he volunteers to travel seven years despite suffering from a physical handicap that would otherwise absolve him of duty, arrives in Pandora to take part in an experiment in intervention, solely motivated by how many doctors told him he “couldn’t.” Once there, he is met with nothing but hostility from both the military and scientific personal. The corporate/armed forces side rejects him because he is differently abled, which is bothersome as such a condition gets in the way of their cluttered infrastructure. The military presence on the planet is the epitome of an overcomplicated bureaucracy. The man in charge (Giovanni Ribisi) facilitates the poorest of communication between the wings and acts irrationally to benefit the unseen, unnamed “shareholders.” His Colonel defies standard isolationist ideas in favor of being on the perpetual offense within this other world. His head scientist, Dr. Augustine (Sigourney Weaver, Heartbreakers) sees no use for Sully as he’s some “jarhead” and shows signs of a bourgeois elitism by talking down to anyone who isn’t a scientist.

Sully’s character helps both sides find clarity and success in their aims by following his own ambitions, breaking their rules and ultimately leading his new world to preservation. Once in the Avatar body, he defies the scientists’ orders by taking off running. This rash action proves his motor skills are above average and earns him the respect of his peers, promoting him to being along the next flight into the jungle. During that journey, he wanders off from the group again and makes contact with the natives, leading to the most successful relations the two civilizations ever had. For his service, the Colonel offers him new legs once he returns home. Sully chooses not to take the dangling corporate carrot and reaches his ultimate potential saving a society he desires with a fully functioning body in a community he loves.

The Na’vi community itself is the opposite of the human “big government.” The heads of their Republic interact openly with their people. Every connection to their food and transportation is achieved through a, quite literal, direct line. The Tribe members even mate for life at the conclusion of their society’s final community ritual, promoting a strong nuclear family. The Na’vi are also monotheistic (with Pandora encapsulating the notion of ‘God is in everything’ to the point where it listens to and answers prayers) and even the human scientist who doubts this divine presence until, in the face of death, recanting and ‘confessing’ her belief is named Dr. Augustine, sharing the name of the Saint who wrote “The Confessions,” giving the film a pro-religious message. While the argument is made that the human military is portrayed as ruthless and deplorable, it’s the Na’vi’s army that drives they away as they pose an immediate threat to their nation’s security. The Na’vi’s interaction with the other nations on Pandora, a coalition of the willing of there ever was one, is an example of American diplomacy at its best. These particularities in mind there are far more parallels to draw between their struggles and success with other American armies on film than their opposition.

Do I think James Cameron set out to make a Conservative film? Do I think the outspoken critics on the right looked for a Liberal-leaning in the film because of Cameron’s own outspoken politics? Should “white people stop making movies like Avatar?” Should “black people stop making television shows like House of Payne?” And where does 8 Mile fit into all this? We may never know****. What I do know for certain is that Avatar is an incredible experience that shouldn’t be avoided in some sort of self-righteous protest. Throw some band-aids on and see the film how it was meant to be seen. Burritos aren’t to be worn as hats, Stephen Hawking isn’t to compete in a triathlon and 3D kitty-people shouldn’t be deconstructed through an iPhone.

Until next time… Let’s Agree to Agree!

*Although most of these people aren’t particular Obama fans anyway as, after all, they know he is a freemason shape-shifting reptilian illuminati puppet who engineered 9/11 and framed Chris Benoit.

**A word that also operates as a red flag to end any conversation you’re having and walk away before you’re forced to hear how “lyrical” Talib Kweli is.

***SPOILER ALERT – At the conclusion of the film, his casting off of his old body shows he isn’t ‘passing’ or ‘infiltrating’ but just finding where he’s most comfortable. Annie Hall moved to California too. Care to deconstruct that?

****ANSWER KEY: No, Perhaps, No, Yes, and in the $3.99 bin at Best Buy.