Posted tagged ‘the critic’

“Young Gifted and Chaz,” “Butt2Butt,” Good Goose and Me.

October 21, 2010

So I’m releasing a new song from my album, Personal References, every Thursday over the next nine (9) weeks until the full 15-track thing drops on December 14th. The album is entirely produced by my friend and homie Good Goose. You may know him from his group Menya or his numerous remixes as heard on his awesome blog. Our worlds have collided and since last week he explained his side of the story on how we came together, this week I’m giving you my account.

Richard and I first met sometime in Spring, 2008. It was the beginning of what was the most miserable time in my life, so I’m pretty sure my memory has suppressed most of it. What I remember unquestionably though, was my first time seeing Menya perform. It was fall 2008 during one of the early MeNyle shows that would feature Menya, Nyle and friends, with Nyle’s sets predominately being tributes to a certain artists/albums. I had just moved back to Manhattan after a summer in Brooklyn and no-one had really seen me for sometime, so Nyle wanted me to be a surprise guest. I wanted to make it as real a surprise as possible by hiding backstage for the entire night from before doors even opened. The two benefits from this were A) getting to genuinely surprise a typically jaded NYC audience and B) getting to see the absolute frenzy that Menya whips a crowd into. It was just frequent-compadre GenesisBe and myself backstage when I heard something female and vulgar come from the stage and had to investigate. What unfolded before my eyes were Menya members Good Goose, Coco-Dame and Angie Ripe turning into three technicolor balls of energy and making the crowd explode into a human popcorn maker. The only times my eyes weren’t fixated on the ensuing chaos in front of me were glancing back at Genesis to see if she was seeing the same things that I saw.

I spent the next year or so building a friendship with Richard and posting up in the back of Menya shows to see how they turn even the most stoic of concert-goers into a sixth-grade lip-syncing dance party. If you ever get to see them live, do it. Richard and I finally sat down and began working on the songs that would become Personal References in July, 2009. I’ve always believed a changing man was more interesting than a changed man*, and this was the start of a pretty big transitional time for me, which I’m happy to say that the album conveys. Richard and I are as similar as we are different, emphasizing each other’s strengths, covering each other’s weaknesses, and not afraid to tell each other “Chaz, that’s a horrible idea.”

Here’s what we have released thus far –

“Young, Gifted and Chaz”

“Butt2Butt”

*If you’ve seen Nyle’s “Let the Beat Build” video, you’ve heard at 1:14 the line “my best friend said that music comes from someone in transition.” This is a reference to me and that philosophy. The original line was “my n*gga Chaz said…” but I assumed it was changed for obvious reasons.

Things I Reference All the Time – Volume 1

May 6, 2010

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my blog?

Oh, Hi Readers. Over the 23-and-a-half years I’ve been on this planet* I’ve come to discover that I like certain funny things to the point of repeating them whenever possible. This has allowed me to stretch the amount of laughs in one sitting to absolute capacity. Sometimes** I’ll make a reference that will go over the heads of everybody in the room, leaving me alone on stage mid-battle staring at the crowd as if to say “No trust me, this gentlemen I’m disrespecting looks JUST LIKE that unflattering celebrity I’ve compared him to.” So, in the interest of you getting maximum enjoyment out of this site and me in general, here’s five things I reference all the time.

Hamburger!

Alonzo “Hamburger” Jones was introduced to me last August by the homegirl Marni and my life has never been the same. Where to begin? His entire “act” is a serious of jokes bridged together by the word “hamburger.” No rhyme or reason to his train of thought, just jokes randomly bridged together by the word “hamburger.” Research tells me he’s on the Christian Comedy circuit and uses “hamburger” in place of other comedians’ cuss words. I can respect withholding the swears for whatever the reason, but how can one be a CHRISTIAN INSULT COMIC? He’s also wearing a vest and cowboy hat that he never once makes reference to. Hamburger.

HEY, YOU LIKED ‘CARNOSAUR!’

Siskel and Ebert have always been heroes of mine, and The Critic was one of the first television shows I really became a fan of. Their guest appearance is one of the series’ highlights, and since age 8 their summoning of movies they can’t believe the other liked acted as my step-by-step guide to arguing***. Girlfriend upset with you for forgetting her birthday? Roommate angry you ate all his Funyuns? Just turn to them and yell “HEY, YOU LIKED CARNOSAUR!” Argument won.

Oh, Hi (your name)

For the five of you out there not familiar with The Room, it’s a motion picture that fires its awfulness engine on all cylinders. A running “joke,” that nobody involved in the film in any way shape or form is in on, is how just about every entrance of a character on screen is met with “Oh, Hi Mark” or any variant thereof. This has become the absolute only way I greet people. I suggest you do the same.

People Come Up to me and they say “Paul?” And I say “What?” And they say…

Dear Starchild is one of my favorite YouTube series. Pat Francis’ hilarious impression of Paul Stanley from KISS has always been an enjoyable part of the ‘Never Not Funny’ Pardcast. When he moved it to YouTube as an advice column, well, let’s just say it was awesome. The opening “…and I say ‘what’…” bit has been summoned countless times on this site. That’s just how I put the ‘X’ in ‘Sex.’

WE’RE LIVIN WE’RE LIVIN WE’RE LIVIN IN EXTREME DAYS!

As the old adage goes “All good things must come to an end involving Christian Rap-Rock.” TobyMac, one-third of rap-rock pioneers DC Talk, has always been ahead aware of the curve. If you’ve ever seen the Gospel Music Channel documentary on the man, you would know he takes full credit for the idea to put singing in the middle of verses on rap songs****. By picking up the aged white Christian rap torch where Carman left off, the TobyMac debuted as the rapper on “Jesus Freak” before breaking solo eventually leading to the TobyMacsterpiece “Extreme Days.” A paint-by-numbers late 90s nu-metal jumpoff from the excess usage of the word “Extreme” to the melodic “deep” part in the middle***** to the acting scene in the middle describing the artist as dangerous and pursued by bad actors the government, it’s some sort of awful perfection. Next time you go to a party, just jump in the room and scream “COMIN AT ‘CHA LIKE A WHIRLWIND!” You may have heard this song in the post-apocalyptic XBox360 game Crackdown where, when you steal a car from futuristic cyborg thugz, it’s the first song that plays.

Scene from 'Avatar' (2009)

So until next time… let’s agree to agree!

*EARTH, which is NUMBER ONE! SUCK IT NEPTUNE!

**And by “sometimes” I mean “just about every time.”

***Meaning if you and I are on an airplane, I will probably have an outburst debating with you over the merits of this.

****Seriously. He really said this. Must be part of that “school of Hip-Hop 1979” where “Sugar Hill had the skill” that taught him to steal rhyme.

*****HE WAS ONLY E-LEV-EN!