Five Awesome Animal Clips (I Got 5 Honest)
This week marks the Feast Day of one of my favorite saints – St. Francis of Assisi. When I was a young Charley attending Immaculate Conception School, the Mass in honor of St. Francis was always one of my favorites. For the unfamiliar, St. Francis was a lover of animals, so this was the one day of the school year that all the students could bring their pet to class. This meant not only did I get to finally see and hear critters I had only previously heard rumors about during playground chatter, but I got to kick it with my gerbil homie Spanky (RIP) all day!
So we would bring our pets into Church and the Priest would bless them which hopefully meant that once they inevitably left Earth via death (or cruel space program) we would someday be reunited in Heaven. I’ve always loved most animals (raccoons, dalmatians and blue jays get the gas face) so in observation of his feast day, I give you the following five treasured animal clips.
Puppies Perform “Still” by the Geto Boys (NSFW)
“Back up in yo azz with a red erection!”
A lot of people like to front on pigs because #1 their religion says so #2 literature and pop culture has associated them with undesirables and #3 bacon is a faceless awesome. These are all understandable, but it’s easy to forget that pigs are incredibly intelligent, curious and warm animals. These Pennywell piglets, considered the smallest in the world, help put these many traits in perspective.
Three Guinea Pigs Fight Over a Cucumber
Yeah, it’s on! What, you didn’t think Guinea Pigs could turn a simple cucumber rationing into an all-out game of Spy vs. Spy vs. Spy?!
Kittens on a Slide
Yeah, you’ve seen this, but here it is again. Loud kitty gets saved. Quiet kitty lets himself fall on his ass. Metaphor for life.
My favorite dog and possibly my favorite animal, Yorkshire Terriers can’t help but make my bad days good, my good days great, and my great days over the top. A Yorkie by my feet makes the cypher complete. I catch a lot of flack for liking Yorkies as people think they’re full of energy, loud and happy all the time. Guess what? So am I. Love us or leave us alone.
BONUS BEAT – My Hamster Story
During my junior year of high school, I was in a production of Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It, as you may have guessed, was a high school production featuring my high school classmates from my high school. My homegirl Dani was in it with me, and we also shared several classes including 8th Period Chemistry. She was having a bad day and being very vocal about it, so I said to her “Dani, if you stop complaining about your day right now, then I’ll buy you a hamster.” Wouldn’t you know it, her face lit up at the prospect and she kept her end of the bargain so in the hour between classes and play practice, I went over to PetSmart and bought her the cutest, purest blond hamster I could find. Did I mention it was feisty? Yes, in under an hour it clawed a hole through its makeshift cardboard transportation box so I had to stop home to grab it an appropriate shoebox. Still, I delivered and she was very happy. For an hour. Until she told her mother and her mother wouldn’t let her keep it. Fate is funny as nobody else could take it home and I felt already attached to my newest, furriest pal. I named her Dr. Pizza Scratchypants. “Scratchypants” came from how she scratched through the cardboard, “Pizza” came from me reading once that the name parents most hate that their kids give their pets is “Pizza” and “Dr.” because she previously attended six years of medical school. I had her for six months until she went to that big habitrail in the sky right around my 17th birthday. Rest in Peace, Doctor.
We give Animals a Five Out of Five
So until next time…let’s agree to agree!