SUMMER MOVIE HYPERBOLIC MEGA-HYPE PREVIEW HYPER-SPECTACULAR 2010!

Like this, but in movie form.

Speaking as someone who usually makes it a point to avoid trailers (more like Coming Distractions, amirite?) I’ve never been a huge fan of ‘WATCH FOR THESE’ blog alert posts recommending movies the author hasn’t even seen. But in the interest of hypocrisy, I thought ‘why not?’ Straight up, I can’t recall the last time I was more excited for a month of movies than what we have right’chere. So without any further depardu, let’s look at AUGUST 2010!

The Other Guys (August 6th)

Director Adam McKay has yet to make a bad film. You spent your college years quoting Anchorman, a wonderful night rediscovering the replay value of Talladega Nights on cable, and a realization on New Year’s that Step-Brothers was far-and-away the best comedy of the decade. Along with a new season of “Eastbound and Down,” McKay is keeping the hits coming with The Other Guys. I think we can all agree that Will Ferrel and The Rock are long-overdue for sharing screentime, and McKay looks to be playing to Wahlberg’s strengths not-seen since the You Gotta Believe video. Awesome.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (August 13th)

I was on the fence about this one for a while, but the more I read about it, the more I’m on-board. While I share your exasperation with Michael Cera playing the exact-same character in every role, this at least puts that character in an interesting setting and would make a nice swan song for it. Besides, better him than that not-Michael Cera guy from Adventureland, right? Plus, it features the homie Kieran Culkin and any film featuring a fellow member of #teamgoldie I’m obligated to support.

The Expendables (August 13th)

My two favorite types of movies are super-depressing pretentious Scandinavian art films and big dumb action flicks. This is the latter. After the masterpiece that was Rambo, Sylvester Stallone decided to bring the images I see whenever I shut my eyes to the big screen with The Expendables. This movie promises things getting killed, things blowing up, and hilariously absurd one-liners uttered after things are killed and/or blown up. I’ve been tracking this film since its inception, and have tremendous faith it will surpass my expectations. I’m not even sure what the plot is, rather I just know what’s going to be appearing onscreen and that it will make me really, really happy. What more could you want? Well…

Big Money Rustlas (August 17)

Coming to DVD three days after my 24th birthday is the greatest gift one could ever ask for: a feature length 35mm Western written-by and starring the Insane Clown Posse. Ten years in the making, the most anticipated prequel since The Phantom Menace looks to be the crowning achievement of the Clowns’ resurgence into the mainstream. Taking place at a simpler time before magnets, it looks to be a promising start for the next decade of direct-to-DVD movies starring rappers.

Magic Everywhere in this Moviehouse.

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

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