Know What’s Awesome about Christmas? Presents.
Ahh Christmas. The season of giving. And receiving. And watching people give and receive. And to spit and retrieve cause I give and receive because I wanna. Yes, the good will toward men is great, as is the feeling of togetherness with friends and family. Lights are cool, snow hasn’t worn out its welcome and the meals are like a do-over of Thanksgiving, only highly customizable so you can have whatever you want. Know why? Jesus was born. Happy Birthday Christ, thanks for the turkey and garlic cheese bread!
But seriously, presents are awesome. All the “I don’t like to get presents” nonsense is nothing more than the mantra of people who can’t give good gifts. Stop being a self-righteous sadsack and step your game up, Eeyore! As for the rest of us who openly acknowledge that getting presents is fantastic, we get just as great a feeling when we’ve NAILED that perfect gift for someone.
What makes the perfect gift? I believe it’s something thoughtful that shakes someone down to their Christmas core. It’s what melts their icey hearts into Figgy Pudding and makes them feel like they just ran down the stairs in footy-pajamas to get what they’ve worked hard for all month at school by not being mean to the fat smelly kid. It’s something not necessarily nostalgic, but rather momentarily returns someone to their idealistic Christmas sensibilities.
What I’m talking about is making grown folks do this:
I stumbled on that clip a few years back looking for some awful Power Rangers Christmas special and it has delighted me ever since*. Being a product of the 80s and a child of the 90s, I was fortunate to have the Ninja Turtles Christmas, the X-Men Christmas, the Power Ranger Christmas, the Nintendo 64 Christmas etc., so I had the warm glow of Consumerism to help me hang ten on a Yule Tide all year round. Honestly, that’s a good thing. It’s not that I needed such things to feel complete, rather it was the joy of having cool stuff that gave me hours of enjoyment and, years later, realizing that I had been part of a movement. These cultural snapshots representing who I was and what my generation was into at the time.
As disconnected as we all get from childhood interests and the more independent our tastes become, our wishlists vary more and these snapshots become a lot more personal. These gifts we get, whether a movie, a CD**, a hooded sweatshirt, a car etc., all represent extensions of our interests. And it’s those gifts that will always remind us who, at that point in our lives, observed those aspects and cared enough to cater to them to give us that extra “holly jolly” around the holidays.
Yes, we’ve had it ingrained in our heads that liking presents is somehow “selfish” and “bad,” and we should faux-reject every gift with “you shouldn’t have,” but let’s be completely honest with ourselves:
Know What’s Awesome About Christmas? Presents!
Until next time, let’s agree to agree!
*I’m pretty sure I’m the reason the Fellini/Chesty Morgan clip is a “related video” too. Sorry kid, but when my highbrow meets my lowbrow it also makes for some holiday cheer.
**In 2009? HA! See you in Hell!