So if you didn’t get the memo that I haven’t sent out yet, PopularOpinions is changing a bit. Instead of being a Monday-Wednesday-Friday affair, we’re moving to Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yes, the week’s twin tower alliance of alliteration will now be home to my endlessly fascinating and always topical thoughts on fast food abominations, twenty-year-old failed cartoon pilots and holidays. Is this move because I’m getting lazy? Is it because two is less than three and it makes it less of a commitment? Fear not dear reader, I can assure you this reformatting can solely be attributed to my selling-out and utter love of money. My stock has risen significantly over the past two months, so what better way to thank you loyal readers for getting me there than changing everything you’ve come to expect and enjoy from this site and turning it on its ear. That in mind, let’s take a look at our new home with a look at Tuesday.
Tuesday is probably best known as the set day for important events that aren’t cool enough to happen on the weekend. From election days to CD and DVD release dates (remember those?) it was the day for media milestones that ensured no hangover or verging vacations could distract from what they had to offer. They would either rock your world with change or shock your world with disappointment. But even with the rare political event or the flood of new releases on “super tuesdays” (usually the final tuesdays in May and November when the music industry would attempt the 1-2-3-4-5-punch combo of dropping several hot holiday/summer releases at once) Tuesday was largely the uneventful fence-sitting stepchild of the calendar week.
By following the dreaded buzzkiller known as Monday, Tuesday’s never really had a hard act to follow. No-one has ever remarked “someone’s got a case of the Tuesdays.” Yet, instead of playing in its favor to make it a better day, Tuesday just slags all of its issues on disillusionment from a mere 24 hours ago. I recall Geometry teacher and football coach Adam Kowles once remarking “at least with Mondays you have some of that residual sleep from the weekend. Tuesdays are torture” and he’s right. With Tuesday you’re one more day removed from last weekend, and still three days away from the next one. BOR-ING! And did I mentioned 9/11 HAPPENED ON A TUESDAY?! Don’t believe me? Ask Melissa Etheridge after seven cans of Surge -
But Tuesday is also the namesake day of
Jhumpa Lahiri’s 2003 novel The Namesake beloved chain restaurant Ruby Tuesdays. If you really wanted to make that third date with your midwestern high school sweetheart something she’ll remember for years to come, you could always trust RT‘s to supply the steak kabobs of legends in between the 7:15 screening of the Freddie Prinze Jr. vehicle Summer Catch and a night of mini-golf and lazer tag at Lava Links. Then, as Sixpence None the Richer plays over the mall sound-system*, you make your way over to the photobooth and test the buzz to see if the magic you have will last a lunchtime. If not, you know you’re going to run into her on a Tuesday and it’s going to be super awkward. I believe Scott Jerry Hall’s ex-husband’s band wrote a song about just such an encounter.
Still, when the monumental Tuesdays throw down, it’s hard to deny the awesomeness. Remember when Barack Obama got elected? Or when Hello Nasty came out? Moments like these when Tuesday decides to get its stuff together are when the day works. As awesome as things like Mardi Gras are, John the Baptist’s designated day is often, as composer Karlheinz Stockhausen described it in his opera Licht, a cube of electronic mimes around anyone who bothers to pay it attention. It’s an ordinary day with extraordinary potential it only occationally lives up to.
We give Tuesday a Three Out of Five.
So until next time…let’s agree to agree!
*It’s gonna bring you back up. Yeah, the one thing that you can depend on.