Check out my Slim Jim swag, from the good people at @SlimJim to the pretty good person at @ChazRaps !

2011 was more than just the year I finally caved in and signed up for Friendster. It was also the year I got booted off Friendster in three months for not having any friends. But all was not lost for technology as Twitter proved once again why it’s up there with rap music and Slim Jims among the greatest anythings ever. Speaking of Slim Jims, I also won a Slim Jim prize pack via Twitter this year, so along with constant updates from awesome people, I protected myself from spiceloss AND upgraded my gear.

So grab yourself a @SlimJim , an outstanding Twitter account in its own right, and snap into the latest entry in Chaz’s Arbitrary Top Ten List Extravaganza as we look at the best Twitter had to offer in 2011!

10) Todd Barry
http://www.twitter.com/toddbarry
Kicking off out list we have comedian Todd Barry. While we all eagerly anticipated the new season of “Delocated” (which premieres this Thursday) all year, those of us following Barry got to see an absolute master of the medium give his takes on Trending Topics (which is would always announce his participation in first) as well as great observations in 140 characters or less.

9) Viva VHS
http://www.twitter.com/vivavhs
Another cool aspect about Twitter is what a great resource it is for absolute experts. VivaVHS is a diehard video collector who boasts an absolute jaw-dropping collection of tapes. Instead of just being one of those collectors who never shares the wealth, VivaVHS instead actually watches the movies, both obscure and beloved, giving enjoyable observations as well as taking us down memory lane one tweet at a time. The best time to be following Viva VHS is around the holidays when the movie marathons kick into high gear. It’s one Twitter page worth rewinding.

8) Friend from High School
http://www.twitter.com/friendfromhs
A scathing indictment of that one person we all begrudgingly have in our social media feeds, Friend from High School is that person you never talked to much at all over those four years who now has a domineering presence in your life. This year Friend from High School got pregnant and the tweets were solid gold. Come election time, this is absolutely going to be one to watch.

7) Colin Quinn
https://twitter.com/iamcolinquinn
It’s amazing how many people will go out of there way to follow Colin Quinn, presumably because they’re familiar with his work, and then flip out in anger at the magic he generates on a daily basis. Twitter’s greatest troll, from fake accusations of plagiarism to testing out award show material, Quinn’s got Twitter locked down. He also spawned my favorite hashtag this year #ItsDigiornoTime

6) Sylis P. Barnaby
https://twitter.com/#!/sylisp
SylisP is absolutely hilarious. You may have never heard of him, but I defy you to click on that above link and not find something within his first five tweets worth retweeting. A perpetual jokester who isn’t afraid to make your comments funnier while live-tweeting CBS’s “Two Broke Girls,” I don’t think I’ve RT’ed a single account more this year. Follow immediately.

The proud day of my 5,000th Tweet. You should follow me at @Chazraps . Apparently, I'm endlessly fascinating.

5) Julieanne Smolinski
http://www.twitter.com/boobsradley
While she’s most recently made headlines for shutting down crossword puzzlemaster Will Shortz for his improper use of “Illin,” those of us following her on Twitter have known about her street cred for a while. By merging the absurd with the joyfully horrifying in each 140 character knowledge drop, she brings the uproarious laughter on a regular basis. Advantage Smolinski.

4) R.L. Stine
http://www.twitter.com/RL_Stine
In 2009, Roger Ebert became the “it”-account to follow with his brutal wit and love of sharing the most informative and interesting links the internet had to offer. Professional child frightener R.L. Stine has all these qualities along with a generous dose of Monster Blood, making for a frighteningly fun account that warrant real life discussions on a regular basis. But tweeter beware, you’re in for a scare!

3) Goldust
http://www.twitter.com/wwegoldust
You know why I’ve yet to link to a single tweet in this article thus far? Because not a one could possibly compete with this. If you were a wrestling fan over the past 15 years, chances are you remember Goldust as the sexual deviant movie critic who was obsessed with gold and making fans of all ages generally uncomfortable. Well, he’s still active on the roster, but his time on the shelf over the past year saw both the release of his legitimately touching book Cross Rhodes: Goldust Out of the Darkness (a great read) as well as him becoming the absolute most entertaining professional athlete on twitter. Not afraid to give his opinions and kick “lemmules” to the curb, it’s proof sometimes all that Twitters is gold.

2) Gucci Doin Things
http://www.twitter.com/GucciDoinThings
There was once a time when we didn’t have the technology to give us constant updates as to what rapper Gucci Mane was up to in his day-to-day life. Now, whether he’s “leaving his Genesis on for weeks at a time just to watch Sonic tap his foot” or “taking a fistful of ketchup packets although he only got a small fry” we know. There’s even touching moments, such as when “Gucci sold his CD collection to buy Waka Flocka a vaporizer, only to find Waka Flocka sold all his weed to buy Gucci a stereo.” It’s absolutely imperative you have Twitter so you can know when “Gucci Mane getting blank stares at Chipotle when he asks for GuacaFlockaMole.”

1) Dad Boner
http://www.twitter.com/DadBoner
If Tweeting has become an artform, then DadBoner is the first masterpiece. The fictional life of middle-aged Applebee’s loving middle America all-American Karl Welzein is the main reason I pull my phone out in public and shove it into acquaintances faces while demanding they “READ THIS!” More than just some funny thoughts, the way Karl’s night unfold and the stor archs of his relationships is the stuff of classic literate. It’s the smartest stupidity you’ll ever read and will most likely be remembered as the Ulysses of Twitter.

So, with it being #FollowFriday (or #FF if you speak tweep) I suggest you check all these fine Tweeps out, as well as my own bells and whistles at @ChazRaps.

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

2011: The year we lost Heavy D.

Oh rap music, is there anything you can’t do? As always, Chaz’s Arbitrary Top Ten List Extravaganza begins with my look back at the year in rap. Last year I called 2010 the best year for hip-hop in quite some time, and 2011 kept the hits coming, making the year’s soundscape of prominent up-and-comers just about as diverse as rap’s ever been. With bandcamp and soundcloud making quality music easier to get ahold of than ever, it’s time we hit the seventeen corners of the map for the ten best rap songs 2011 produced!

10 ) 151 Feva Gang – “Kush Groove”

“Roll another up and get groovy baby” with the song of the summer: a stoner anthem so effortlessly cool that even straight edge kids can take a shower and get down with it. Full of the top-down party sunshine vibe without transparently trying to be the soundtrack to a car commercial, “Kush Groove” is the rap music that Saturday evenings in June were made for.

9 ) A.Dd+ – “Under f/ Dustin Cavasos”

Hip-Hop’s biggest current tragedy is that not only are Outkast not making music, but B.O.B. isn’t making the music Outkast should be making. While we all anticipate new Andre verses and wish Bobby Ray would get back to actually rapping, their are artists who are making music worthy of being the next heirs to the Outkast throne. Dallas duo A.Dd+ unleashed one of the year’s most creatively inspired releases with When Pigs Fly, the centerpiece of which was “Under,” a great slice of struggle music with the intangible warmth that keeps listeners coming back for more.

8 ) Roc Marciano – “My Persona”

While 2011 saw its share of blizzards hit New York, the cold winter made the perfect setting for Long Island’s Roc Marciano. Possessing all of 90s NYC’s ruggedness with none of the jorts, Marciano spent the year following up his critically acclaimed Marcberg album with a series of guest appearances and stray tracks that kept our attention, the best of which was “My Persona.” Brooding, cunning and always engaging, “My Persona” got more individual play that most artist’s entire albums, promising even more from Marciano in the coming year.

7 ) Hail Mary Mallon – “Breakdance Beach”

The trio of Aesop Rock, Rob Sonic and DJ Big Whiz doesn’t necessarily call to mind some happy-go-lucky fun in the sun, but on “Breakdance Beach” the three go for the gusto, taking a rhyme pattern to its absolute limit and each showing a tongue-in-cheek cheerfulness we’ve never seen before.

6 ) Prof – “Gampo”

Prof, the 2011 must-see live act of indieground hip-hop, has successfully captured the magic of his concerts on record. While his latest King Gampo got as much attention for its Gummo-tribute cover as it did for its music, the opening track “Gampo” quickly dismisses any thought that Prof’s just all image. As fun as it is unpredictable, Prof flexes styles showing why he’s the talk of the Twin Cities.

5 ) Watch The Throne – “N*ggas in Paris”

While Watch The Throne was something of a mixed bag, the strengths were incredibly high. Between the masturbatory celebrity santorum of “Lift Off” and an uninspired Kanye attempting M.B.D.T.F.-lite, we had Jay-Z’s best rapping in eight years and some of the most daring production choices in the genre. Originally a b-side, the audience spoke and made “N*ggas in Paris” a smash when many thought the collaboration would be dead in the water. Between a dexterous Jigga vocal performance and Kanye giving us the best elements of his tweets in rap form, it’s the type of monster mainstream hip-hop in 2011 should be regularly generating.

4 ) Mr. Muthaf*ckin’ eXquire – “Huzzah”

I’ve been writing for six months now about how “Huzzah” rechristens a sound within underground hip-hop of intelligently ig’nant hood music not heard since the days of Fondle ‘Em Records, so just listen already.

3 ) Action Bronson – “Mr. Songwriter”

Between two of the best rap albums this year and a stellar EP, I had a hard time choosing just one Action Bronson song to include. I decided to go with the one that I played the most, “Mr. Songwriter,” as it condenses everything I enjoy about Bronson into three minutes. Charismatic non sequitur storytelling peppered with references to food and 80s professional wrestling and production rooted in the construction of classic New York hip-hop, “Mr. Songwriter” is a great starting place for those new to Bronson and an amuse bouche of what he’s capable of.

2 ) Danny Brown – “Pac Blood”

The second verse of Brown’s “Pac Blood” is my choice for the single best verse on a rap song this year. The most straight-forward song on his largely experimental mixtape XXX, Brown proves he’s one of the best in the genre today with an unrelenting onslaught of blisteringly visceral punchlines. It’s a masterful manifesto and cements Brown as one of the best in the world at what he does.

1 ) Tyler, the Creator – “Yonkers”

Who would have thought Odd Future would have dominated 2011. Well, mastermind Tyler, the Creator probably did, especially when he unleashed “Yonkers.” The must-see video that shot the collective into superstardom, hob-nobbing with everyone from Kanye to Justin Bieber and even landing a VMA nomination, it wouldn’t have been such a monumental achievement had the song not been an absolute banger. With Tyler being among the first faces of the post-Napster generation to show what an unlimited access to influences is capable of, “Yonkers” weaves in warm vulnerable moments amongst an unstable wasteland of angst and absurdity. Along with Tyler making himself laugh and his legions of fans rap along with each listen, the production was infectious enough to make even the group’s detractors record their disses over it. In terms of popularity and influence, “Yonkers” defined 2011. As a song by itself, it’s the best rap song of 2011.

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

2011: The Year We Lost the "Macho Man"

Ohhhhhhh 2011, tell me everything you know!. As we state every year around this time, January is a cultural deadzone. That is, it *usually* is. However, with so many amazing releases and events happening over the first three weeks of 2012 along, there’s been a lot more on my plate than usual. So much, in fact, that I’ve already made by Best Albums of 2012 list. Still, I’d be a star-spangled silly-billy* if I didn’t make sure you started the year without missing anything. So, without any further Depardu, let’s review what was the best of things that 2011 had to offer!

IT’S TIME FOR CHAZ’S ARBITRARY TOP TEN LIST EXTRAVAGANZA’S BEST OF 2010 OPINION-AS-FACT-TACULAR!

Starts tomorrow.

So, until next time…let’s agree to agree!

*Journalism term.

Be brave, it's almost over.

While we’ve had five seasons that built up to a satisfying climax of murdering an end boss to satiate our dark passengers, the end of season six is a mercy killing. Coming off back-to-back absolute worst episodes of the series, we get a finale that felt much more like a recap show for an entire half-season of television we didn’t watch. It is out of a sense of responsibility and duty I bring you “This is the Way the World Ends.”

Tonight’s episode was written by longtime series writers Scott Buck (this season’s premiere) and Wendy West (by far the best writing talent on the show who did “Hungry Man” in season four and “Everything is Illuminated” last year which was the turning point at which season five stopped sucking) and directed by John Dahl (this season’s “Just Let Go” and “A Horse of a Different Color”). I’ve sang the praises of Wendy West before on this site and I’m sure the staff must know how important she is to the franchise. She’s brought in when the show’s been at its most convoluted worst and somehow made sense of it into entertainment. She had her work cut out for her tonight and the fact that we got a slightly below average episode is a testament to how screwed up this season got.

All-in-all, “This is the Way the World Ends” felt like an episode of Supermarket Sweep with plot points. For a show whose pacing has been mind-numbingly bad for the past four episodes, the unsatisfying rush with which everything fell together today was just awful. Sure, I can buy that Dex was rescued by a boat of illegal immigrants, but Travis stealing Harrison from a room full of people and then later being surprised Dex is alive is among the biggest reaches the show has ever made. Dexter is no longer where you have to momentarily suspend your disbelief, rather just accept convient idiocy and the promise of ever present deus-ex-machinas. Bless Wendy’s heart for trying, but I was so checked out of any interest in Travis by this point that even the threat of killing a toddler couldn’t drum up any tension.

Elsewhere we had Quinn “getting help” to get out of being transferred as possibly the laziest blowoff in a season of lazy blowoffs, no word on Matthews (which may indicate he’s gone for good), the hint that Masuka’s uninteresting assistant will be around for some of next season (in the show’s most uninteresting Masuka scene), and the single most non-sensical moment in the show’s entire season. On the roof we had LaGuerta, a character who we’ve spent six seasons as the embodiment of the bad at her job but ruthlessly politicking bureaucrat bitch, give a serious heart-to-heart with the one character who has actually developed this season, telling her she’s done a good job. Every word we’ve gotten from LaGuerta for the past six years has been an outright lie, so why should we trust her to validate that Deb is good at her job? I blame that one on Buck. I have no evidence that it was specifically him, but I just don’t feel like Wendy would do me like that. Oh, I’m sorry, was that last sentence completely sloppy and not with the tone of the rest of this post? GOOD! So is this show!

BIG MOMENT! Oh wait, I don't care.

The big moment we have at the end is Deb walking in on her brother as he kills Travis. Of all the concluding kill scenes we’ve had on the show, this one has to be the worst. Instead of Dex’s final thoughts wrapping the season up in at least an adequate way, we got a religious discussion of the college freshmen stoner buddies caliber concluding with Deb catching Dex in the act, followed by an almost too glib “Oh God.” For all the flak the end of season five took with Deb finding the silhouettes of Dexter and Lumen, at least we had Steve Shill’s masterful directing giving us a certain open-ended suspense. Here, Dahl drew out all the wrong parts of the scene. All the focusing on Dexter’s “I knew real men of God talk” did was remind us how far this season had fallen in such a short time. Realistically speaking, we do have the show playing the “caught” card now (which they may have meant to play last season as the show was originally supposed to end with season six) as well as Deb proving she’s an apt-enough detective to catch her brother, but while I really didn’t mind the “incest” angle last week (it was the only thing different on a show obsessed with maintaining the status quo) this conclusion makes it feel like an unnecessary saddlebag to the scene. It’s Trinity’s estranged daughter levels of cheap. While tonight did fall far short of a satisfying ending, Dexter has never really had a strong season finale. The best thing I can say about “This is the Way the World Ends” is that it’s only the fourth or fifth worst thing we’ve see this season.

We give This is the Way the World Ends a Two Out of Five.

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

"HURRY! WE NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS SEASON!"

I really don’t want to seem like another internet critic who hates everything and still inexplicably keeps watching the things he hates, but what an absolutely awful episode of Dexter. If you’ve not read my blog before, or only recent posts, I’m not one of the show’s constant detractors. In fact, up until the conclusion on “Nebraska,” I was ready to call this season my second or third favorite. One month later, I’m legitimately just about done with this show and am only still watching because I made the promise to myself to blog along with it. So, here we go, “Talk to the Hand.”

Tonight’s episode was written by Manny Coto and Tim Schlattmann (this season’s “Once Upon a Time” and “Smokey and the Bandit”) and directed by Ernest Dickerson (this season’s “Sin of Omission” and the movie Juice). Tonight we saw Travis’ plan to poison Miami Metro thwarted, Quinn saving Batista and Deb chewing them both out, Matthews being asked to retire as LaGuerta manipulated him into losing his job to get his position, Masuka’s assistant mailing the Ice Truck Killer’s severed hooker hand to Dexter, Deb starting to have lustful thoughts for her brother and Travis attempted to kill Dexter by burning him to death in a small boat surrounded by fire. All of this happened, none of it entertaining. Even though I like Dickerson as a director, he sometimes takes risks that just don’t fit the show and they were all over the episode. From the cheap suspense of cutting between Dexter and stopping the woman from releasing wormwood at the last second, to the easy resolve of the sexual tension moment between Dexter and Deb by oddly cutting to close-ups and later proving it to only be a dream, by visuals alone it felt like a different show.

That’s not even including the incest card they almost played which, while I’m not particularly a fan of incest, it would have been at least an interesting or (at the very least) DIFFERENT road to go down instead of continuously maintaining the status quo. As I’ve mentioned, what made the first half of this season so great was that they were going down so many very different roads, and the characters were evolving. Everything’s just about reverted back EXCEPT FOR Deb, the only consisting compelling thing about the show, and Matthews’ exodus, a titanic mistake as in the six seasons of the show he’s the only character to never have a bad appearance. He’s a strong catalyst for entertaining changes in the show and to remove him just for more ammo to hate the dull as a sack of boring LaGuerta is absurd. If she doesn’t die in the next episode, I’m checked out of Miami Metro.

A horrible painting for a horrible episode.

Otherwise the Travis story is just bafflingly uninteresting now. Dexter not going to the ER and getting dizzy at just that moment was something that would hit the cutting room floor of a bad Batman cartoon. I know I’ve used this word already, but tonight’s entire episode felt cheap and forced. After stretching this plot out far longer than they needed to, it seems they just throwing whatever sticks in hoping next week’s shocker finale grips us into the next season. I feel Dexter’s become what people who never liked the show always thought it was. As a loyal fan who even loved the latter half of last year’s brutally criticized season, I’m never had my interest in the show at such an absolute low.

We give “Talk to the Hand” a One Out of Five

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

Apparently, this is the only image from this season of 'Dexter' on the entire internet.

Three weeks ago I was sitting on the edge of my seat eagerly anticipating Dexter as it, after 5 1/2 seasons, was finally hitting a bold new incredible stride. Tonight, I struggle to put into words how the show entirely killed my interest in three episodes. Yes, that’s overly harsh hyperbole, but when the show just doesn’t care anymore, it’s hard for me to put effort into recapping it as well. Two weeks ago suffered from the show returning to the status quo, last week suffered from a series of underwhelming revelations packed into an hour like processed tuna into a can, and tonight suffers from having absolutely nothing of remote interest. Let’s now tackle the unfortunate task of recapping “Ricochet Rabbit.”

My immediate reaction.

Tonight’s episode is only the second non-finale in the show’s history to credit three writers in a single serving. Jace Richdale (this season’s “Just Let Go”), Lauren Gussis (the show’s co-producer) and Scott Reynolds (the story supervisor), who have all turned in great episodes in the past, couldn’t save this dire story from being an entirely unappealing monstrosity. It was directed by Michael Lehmann (first time Dexter director who did two great films in Heathers and Airheads as well as several episodes of True Blood, Bored to Death and Californication) and while I enjoy a lot of his previous work, really didn’t fit the feel of the show at all. But I’m not trying to single any one person out as to why “Ricochet Rabbit” was such a disaster, rather it seems to have taken a team effort to make tonight’s offering suck this much.

In “Ricochet Rabbit” we get a lot of Dexter arguing with Harry, something that while irritating earlier in the season has become absolutely unbearable. Michael C. Hall is such a talented actor that he’s made the voiceover inner-monologue an absolute art, as well as one of the show’s most endearing hallmarks. Instead of that, we get Harry continuing to be the irritating uncool chaperone at the party spelling out every bit of story development ensuring there would be no tension whatsoever. Travis completely throws the “he didn’t know Gellar doesn’t exist” line of thought right out the window during the worst dialogue in the show’s history between him and Gellar, making his quest as the witness to the apocalypse the worst motivation in the history of Dexter arch-nemeses. It’s painful to watch this scene because Hall, Hanks and Olmos are all ridiculously talented and they’re trying their hardest to pull out all the stops and make something worth watching only to be saddled with dialogue that is an absolute mess.

Later, Travis recruits two painfully uninteresting followers (although I do like seeing It’s Always Sunny‘s Lil Kev on my television, the writers gave his Doomsday Adam character the depth of a Putty Patroller) to kill the woman he let go a few episodes ago. Dexter also breaks the heart of Masuka’s assistant when he expresses how offensive the video game he was developing is, causing the computer whiz to immediately cancel his date with Batista’s sister and become another one-note boring character. Even Quinn’s downward spiral was just cartoonish, substituting the delightful scumbag elements for being a lazy irresponsible worker. This gets Batista, one of only two characters on an interesting upswing this season, captured by Travis. As for the other still enjoyable element of the show, Lieutenant Deb, she didn’t really do a whole lot. We got the split-second panic of her discovering Matthews’ involvement with the dead girl, and her finally being self-sustained enough to not rely on talking to Dexter about everything. Again, we get growth from Deb but this feels like territory that has either already been covered in a previous episode or should have been. It’s unfortunate now that, if any characters look like they aren’t going to make it to next season, it’s these two.

PLEASE STOP SUCKING!

We have two episodes left and my interest in the show is at an all time absolute low. I know the internet is a great place to complain about things, but in my quarter-century of watching television I don’t ever recall going from being at the absolute pinnacle of enthusiastic for a show to complete and utter indifference in a matter of weeks. I’d like to think the only place to go from here is up, but as last week proved, sometimes the bottom drops out.

We give Ricochet Rabbit a One Out of Five

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

Image unrelated to, but infinitely more interesting, than tonight's episode.

When we last left Dexter, he was in a bad episode. This week finds him in another bad episode helping his disappointing passenger find a worthless twist buried beneath the church. Dexter is working hard on becoming full-fledged television for idiots, so let’s take a look at another contender for worst episode in the entire series run “Get Gellar.” Oh, and I’m not crediting a writer or director this week because I’m convinced neither verb actually was involved in its making.

So, all along Professor Gellar was in Travis’ head. If you didn’t see this coming or at least entertain the possibility, don’t be so bitter about those of us who saw did. I’m noticing a lot of smug “I called it” and “STFU, U DID NAWT!” over social media right now and as much as I don’t typically enjoy the “CALLED IT” crowd, this is one time when they’re completely in the right. This isn’t like the end of Fight Club or the end of The Sixth Sense where the twist is meticulously assembled to be utterly jaw-dropping, or even the end of Scream where the shocking revelation gives us the reveal of a fun “whodunit?” mystery. No, those of us who got the confirmation tonight with a slouched over frozen sexy Edward James Olmos in a freezer greeted the news with a certain eye-rolling mourning. If you’ve been following my episode recaps, you would know while I’d seen the evidence rolling in week-after-week about Gellar being Travis’ dark passenger, I’d been hoping against hope the “obvious signs” were deliberate red herrings from the writers that we had grown accustomed to in order to keep us guessing. The moment Gellar started bleeding from his head in an earlier episode, the cat was let out of the bag marked “there’s a cat in this bag that’s going to be let out.” It’s a flaccid crescendo made worse by being lead up to with episodes containing some of the best writing the show’s had in years.

It seems every Thanksgiving weekend Dexter gives us a awful twist nobody likes, and this year we get the missing Ice Truck Hooker’s hand in the apartment of Masuka’s intern. Just when the super-google pioneer becomes an alright addition to the show we get this. Harry is also back in Dexter’s life, officially adding absolutely nothing, now more than ever. His presence on the show is akin to the parent who keeps walking in on his kid’s parties and trying to hang or hold the kids’ attention. The biggest disappointment for me personally, however, is the reveal that Deputy Chief Tom Matthews was behind the death of the overdosing hooker. It’s bad enough this storyline has to put more LaGuerta on my television, but now we’ve made one of the few consistently entertaining pillars of the show fall from grace for absolutely no reason. Matthews has always been a catalyst for interesting non-Dexter related storylines on the show, and making him a drug-addicted murderer is just desperate hack territory and goes against everything the character meant to the show’s universe in the most banal way possible. The only upside about the reveal being Matthews (and I apparently am the only person surprised that he was behind it) was that it wasn’t LaGuerta-Batista part #4082. With how much the show’s obsessed over their uninteresting boring dead end relationship and Batista’s penchant for drinking with whores, not to mention he was the only person LaGuerta asked about at the crime scene, that seemed pretty open-and-shut to me. Sadly, making it Matthews was the only worse option.

The only things I actually enjoyed this week were Quinn’s continuously entertaining downward spiral and Deb’s talks with her therapist and finally standing up to LaGuerta. From those two we got both logic and character growth while still remaining entertaining. I do have to ask though, with so much of Deb’s dialogue consisting of whether her brother was a table of a chair, was this episode was co-written by Tyler, the Creator’s Twitter? Otherwise, while I would never openly begrudge someone for their personal tastes and interests, I struggle to comprehend what fans who enjoyed tonight’s episode really want out of the show. Even with the pointless and predictable twists, the elevator sequence, bloodbath and big reveal were constructed so poorly that the episode had the intensity of a massage from a three-toed sloth.

We give “Get Gellar” a Two Out of Five

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

Have we ruled out the killer being Chet Haze?

Well Dexter fans, what a difference a week makes. While last Sunday I found myself sitting down at the edge of my seat as the show ventured down Dexter’s dark path in a way we haven’t seen before, the conclusion of “Nebraska” left us mid-season with more answers than questions as hitch-hiking Harry returned the show to its status quo. Not one to give up, I apprehensively sat down with the foreboding feeling the show had gone off the rails this season for good. Thus we begin “Sins of Omission.”

Tonight’s episode was written by Arika Lisanne Mittman (first time Dexter writer who did two episodes of Medium) and directed by Ernest Dickerson (season four’s “Road Kill,” last season’s “Teenage Wasteland” many episodes of The Wire and most importantly the 1992 film Juice). It’s really a shame that Dickerson’s tremendous talents were wasted on an episode so jarringly out of place with the season. His use of color and tremendous pacing could have made for just the momentum building over-the-hump episode this season needed to approach an endgame, but instead we face the same problem that caused the first half of season five to suck – a new writer who doesn’t grasp the intangibles of what makes the show fun. While we fortunately didn’t see Harry at all this week, Mittman’s dialogue kept the show going through the motions at a time when it really needed incentive to finish the season.

Professor Gellar continues to stalk Travis, now threatening him with his sister’s life. The day after Travis sees his sister speaking to Deb, Gellar knocks him out and later Miami Metro discover her dead and dressed in the tableau as “The Whore of Babylon.” Either Mittman is going out of her way to make us think that Gellar is really Travis’ dark passenger as a swerve, or she’s dropping balls in the most obvious way possible. Elsewhere Dexter attends Brother Sam’s funeral and receives Sam’s blood soaked copy of the Bible as a gift. He then (via a search engine reportedly more powerful than Google) uses a clue from the tableau to track down a retired senile priest in a nursing home, allowing him to discover Gellar’s whereabouts in an abandoned church. Dexter arrives and finds Travis chained to the ground, chasing after Gellar who apparently sneaks out the back way. Dex frees Travis and they agree to work together to bring Gellar down.

"That's no whore...that's my sister!"

The only interesting thing going on in the show right now is Deb’s relationship with Dexter. When she finds Dex’s pen fron the rest stop he stayed at in Nebraska, she instantly puts it together (Lieutenant!) that Dexter went to Nebraska to talk to Trinity’s son. When Dex gives her the excuse he needed to talk to someone who lost a loved one to Trinity, Deb chews him out as she lost Lundy to Trinity and he could have talked to her. So, she goes to her therapist who advises her to actually attempt to talk to Dex about what’s going on in his life. I’ve had a theory, stemming from the finale of season 5, that Deb actually knows about Dexter’s dark passenger and how he’s been killing “bad people.” I believe she’s either in denial, secretly cheering him on and wanting him to hide it better, or is trying to get him to admit it himself. I’m calling it that by the end of this season she’ll either die and/or reveal to Dex that “she knows.” But back on tonight, it’s nice to see her actually showing her detective chops and not being afraid to bust Dexter’s ass in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" "I'm wasting time with a subplot nobody cares about."

As for all the other stories, we’ve devolved into the go-to romance with a dash of “who cares?” Batista’s sister is dating Masuka’s intern, which I didn’t have a problem with because I like them as actors and their characters bring a different dynamic to this season, but now Batista is trying to scare him off. WHY?! Not just asking why is he doing this, but after the boring mess that was Batista’s relationship with LaGuerta, why would this be deemed worthwhile to put on my television set? Speaking of LaGuerta, and again I do like Lauren Velez as an actress, but why is this character on my screen rehashing the exact same storyline since season three? She’s a corrupt boss who is bullying her underlings and manipulation her position in order to advance her career. It’s tired and reeks of the mundanity that the first half of this season worked so hard to get away from. Oh, and Quinn got kicked out a bar, far and away the least shocking thing he’s done and not worthy of the eighth episode of a descent at all.

Anyone else beginning to get the feeling that LaGuerta has ulterior self-serving motives?

As somewhat of a Dexter apologist who was ready to call this season my second or third favorite two weeks ago, I cannot believe how they’ve managed to undo everything that was making this season so good. Killing Travis’ sister, using the “super Google,” reintroducing the same dead end LaGuerta storyline are the type of cheap developments the show seemed to be getting away from. If Gellar is imaginary, this season is a toxic waste. If he’s real, we might get out first non-anti-climactic showdown in four years. I’m really hoping this is just a minor hiccup in an otherwise great season. The only bright spots this week were Deb and Dex’s disagreements and Dickerson’s great direction.

We give Sins of Omission a Two out of Five.

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

Welcome internet to the final part of my “whole bunch of stuff about Donald Glover” trilogy. If you’re just joining us, hi, I’m Chaz Kangas, you might remember me as the second verse on Childish Gambino’s “My Hoodie” from Sick Boi. For the past week I’ve been giving insight into Gambino’s early years to give you a better context for understanding the growth on his new album. Camp dropped today and you can/should purchase it everywhere as well as download MY FREE album featuring Mac Lethal, Stones Throw’s Homeboy Sandman, Alaska of Hangar 18 and J57 of the Brown Bag All Stars.

Gosh darn Goddard love!

So, as I mentioned in the The Younger I Get post, Goddard was a freshman dorm that Donald was an RA in and (despite my Peter Pan-esqe wishes) I couldn’t be a freshman forever, so that May I moved while he stayed there for one more year. It’s worth noting how much talent lived in that same building at one time. The Goddard Hall 2004-2005 residents include “BET 106 and Park” Top 10 staple Elle Varner, Emmy award winning “The Daily Show” writer Jenna Kim Jones and top New York tech/business blogger Nick Judd. Bear in mind, I don’t mean we were all in the same class of how many thousand students, we all lived in a yellow submarine the same seven story building. Good times.

Sick Boi (2008). There's apparently a physical version of this out there somewhere too which I've never seen. If you have, let me know.

So with both Donald and I being busy with where our lives went, he with graduating and writing for “30 Rock” and me with further schooling and hitting the east coast battle circuit hard, we didn’t really get a chance to link up musically. I did get a beat tape from him in spring 2007 (which I believe I still have) when I was reaching out for production for my then-upcoming album Knee Jerk Reaction, but we didn’t get a chance to finish something in time before I had to return to Minnesota for a summer.

The morning of January 23 2008* I get a call from Donald and we begin discussing music. This was two or three months into the writers’ strike and Donald’s work ethic being what it is, he decided it was the perfect time to make an album. He emailed me what he had of “My Hoodie” and asked if I could record that night. I said sure, tapped into everything I enjoyed about hooded sweatshirts as a youth, and the verse poured out of me. That night I went to his apartment in, I believe, Queens and recorded it with overdubs and everything in about 20 minutes. At the time, Donald was contemplating changing his rap name to “Bambino X,” which is why he begins his verse with “My name is Bambino.” He said the session was the quickest he’d had recording anyone for the album**. Afterward I caught the subway home and while on the platform saw professional wrestler Chris Kanyon videotaping the trains as they arrived and departed.

It’s still cool seeing how much that song gets around. It played while I was interviewed by DJ Ready Cee that fall and it even eventually got named rhyme of the week at the Hip-Hop Culture Center. The Rap Genius entry on it is surprisingly accurate, although I should mention the vocal cadence I use on the Sam Goody couplet is my homage to one of my all time favorite rap groups The Outsidaz’s single “Rain or Shine.” As for Sick Boi, it was a cool departure for Donald and really indicative of where both he and Hip-Hop was at the time. I know a lot of Gambino fans take issue with the Lil Wayne comparisons, especially those who only know Wayne from his “Lollipop”-type output, but Wayne’s The Dedication II mixtape (which you should download as it is both free and excellent) was so innovative and ubiquitous then that even if it wasn’t a direct influence on Donald (we’ve never discussed it) there’s a good chance it influenced someone who influenced him, and he married that with his Pharcyde Bizarre Ride II influence and there you have the very beginnings of Childish Gambino.

Thanks for reading, support Camp and until next time… let’s agree to agree!

*I checked. Thanks Gmail!

**Take THAT MC Chris

Now where have I seen this before?

Some weeks your just find yourself absolutely amped for Dexter. Even during the weaker moments of seasons 4 and 5, all it takes is a tense ending in order make a viewer turn into a fiend overnight. With the current season taking such a slower character building less-is-more approach for so many episodes, the closing moments of last week’s “Just Let Go” saw a dip into Dexter’s dark side with the return of his brother Brian, making the anticipation for tonight’s episode all the more satisfying. But did this uncharted territory bring us somewhere we didn’t know we wanted to go?

Why yes, it was a big weekend for 'American Gothic' references on television.

Tonight’s episode, “Nebraska,” was written by my absolute favorite Dexter writer Wendy West. I’ve raved about her before, she wrote both the “Hungry Man” episode where Dexter joined Arthur Mitchell’s family for Thanksgiving*, as well as season four’s finale “The Getaway” and the episode that turned an up-until-then lackluster season five around “Everything is Illuminated.” It was also directed by Romeo Tirone who has been a cinematographer with the show since season one (he’s responsible for the shutter effect on infant Dexter covered in blood) and directed last season’s “Take It” (where Dexter and Lumen killed Jordan Chase’s head of security Cole Harmon) as well as has been the director of photography for a good chunk of HBO’s True Blood. With two longtime greats for the show tackling both the return of Dexter’s brother as well as digging up the Trinity Killer murders, tonight seems not only like baiting longtime fans with the promise of everything they’ve ever liked crammed into a single episode, but the promise of it being among the show’s all time greats. The results are close, but for such a stellar season, a touch underwhelming.

We begin with Dexter and his brother Brian reunited on Dex’s boat “The Slice of Life,” disposing of the murderer we saw killed off at the end of “Just Let Go.” It’s so refreshing to see Brian (the delightfully sinister Christian Camargo) discuss Dexter’s favorite hobby without the whining of Harry or the immediate end of one of his victims. Not only have we gotten rid of Harry’s neediness dragging down the episodes, but now we have a much cooler devil on Dex’s shoulder giving a sadistic play-by-play not heard since the days of Tom Servo. I have to think Brian speaks for the fans in this episode, from cheerleading Dexter’s efforts to even telling him to make a killroom, I found myself a few times hearing my own thoughts on screen. Plus his referring to Deb as “the one that got away” and wearing a “Nebraska is for Lovers” t-shirt was just too gleefully demented not to love. Brian unlocks Dexter’s hedonistic side as they road trip to America’s heartland to kill Arthur Mitchell’s son who appears to be the “new” Trinity Killer, getting Dex some tail along the way and being forced to kill a weed-growing rest stop attendant who attempt to extort Dex for $10,000 in order to get his knives back. Tirone’s direction here is stellar as the sequence of Dexter disposing of the body into the mill is one of the most haunting images the show has produced.

Meanwhile, in other stories we have Travis seemingly breaking-up with Professor Gellar as he returns all of his belongings CW Teen Drama style. We also have Deb and “The Ishy” Quinn having a private heart-to-heart until Quinn attempts to kiss her and Deb respectfully ends things for good. The fact that Deb managed both that and subtly putting the now always-irritating LaGuerta in her place WITHOUT CRYING shows how much she’s grown this season and the show’s all the better for it. Plus, Masuka’s intern made a video game of Miami Metro, impressing Batista’s sister. With the exception of how I’ve come to dread every moment of airtime LaGuerta’s been getting (nothing against Lauren Velez who is great, but the one dimensional character hasn’t had a single worthwhile payoff to a storyline in 4 years), none of the b-stories got in the way and actually kept the show’s momentum going.

I really love this show sometimes.

As for tonight’s conclusion, I do feel a little let down. Having Mitchell’s kid be “justified” by having a conscience, regretting killing his mother seemed like a weak reason for Dex to let him off the hook, especially considering he’s killed a guy with an anchor for dissing his wife (Season 5) and an innocent photographer for NO REASON (Season 4). There was so much great suspense the entire episode leading up to not only a blowoff, but seemingly writing Dexter’s brother out of the show and ending with Dexter picking up Harry, effectively returning us to the status quo this season has worked so far to get us away from. They better be going somewhere special with this because, as it stands, there hasn’t before been such a gap between episode quality and the closing five minutes that wasn’t a season finale.

We give Nebraska a Four out of Five

So until next time…let’s agree to agree!

*Possibly my favorite episode of the series.